The Children Are Watching

Looking back on my own career of 30 some-odd years, I would say that the single most important event in my professional life didn’t even happen to me. It happened to my dad. He got laid off just five months before I graduated from college.

I’ve mentioned him before in this column, but in case you’re new here, let me give you a little detail. Well, as much detail as I know myself, which isn’t much. See, he was a covert case officer for the CIA. In street lingo, that means he was a spy. But technically speaking he wasn’t. His job was to recruit spies. We were stationed in places, oh, like Miami, Berlin, Mexico City, Madrid, Munich, Vienna, and, of course, he was in Saigon for a while where he wore a flak jacket over his nerdy 1968 business suit. Students of the Cold War would see this list of cities and go, “check, check, check.” And then rightly conclude: “Wasn’t home much, was he?” Nope. He went on a lot of “business trips.”

Anyway, I’m telling you all this not to brag (well, maybe just a little bit) but to set the stage for why I’m so passionate about the topic of children and work. I learned two things by watching my father through the years. It’s completely unacceptable to do anything you’re not totally passionate about. And, then finally, there is no security in job security. I think the only reason why I’ve never been laid off myself is because I laid my own self off the moment I heard that my dad lost his job – via a callous pink slip that was handed to him while he was on assignment in Mexico City, right in front of a classroom full of baby spies he was teaching that day.

Children of divorced parents, who then see their standard of living plummet when the parents split, learn very early that poverty is just one decision away. And children of laid-off parents learn the same thing. No matter how passionate, brilliant and dedicated you are to your profession, unemployment is one decision away.

And just as children of divorced parents grow up reluctant to throw heart, body and soul into an intimate, romantic relationship, children of laid-off parents get very early that you can’t really trust what your employer says about job security.

In my heart of hearts, I’ve always been “self-employed” because of that hard understanding that there’s no such thing as job security. And while this might be a moderately healthy attitude for an individual to take, it’s really too bad for employers who might have benefited from my talents, skills and dedication to their organization’s mission.

During this time of laying people off, we’re almost in an anorexic thrall. The compulsion to trim and slim seems to have taken on a life of its own – or at least a momentum that is going to be extremely hard to stop. But it will stop one of these days, and you’re going to need to start hiring again.

Where will you get your talent? If this current economic situation lasts as long as the doomsayers predict, you may be drawing your most new hires from the generation that is today’s kids – those kids who are right at this very moment finding out that mom and/or dad are suddenly – and through no fault of their own – without a job.

Assuming you’re still in HR when that time comes, you may look back on this time and think, “Oo, maybe we should have given more thought to the kids.” Remember, it was only 10 months ago or so when we were obsessing about the impending hiring crisis as Baby Boomers retire and their replacements fall short of both numbers and knowledge. That crisis is still coming toward us (even though maybe some of the Baby Boomers won’t be retiring quite so soon).

So how can HR keep the faith with future generations of workers when so many companies (not yours certainly) are breaking faith with their current employees? Here are some ideas, and I sure would welcome more as they occur to you:

Assume the leadership that is rightfully HR’s to govern the lay-off process in your organization. Make your process absolutely top-notch, humane and as generous as you can and drive it from the top. Don’t passively allow individual departments, divisions, businesses, leaders decide who they’ll run it as independent fiefdoms. That’s when stupid management tricks begin to take over.

Make humane the guiding principle of all your lay-off procedures and practices. Tell people what to expect as soon as you know. Maybe some essential talent will ditch the ship before you want them to, but you’re also going to see that the bulk of your people will stick around and help you turn off the lights – if that is indeed your new mission.

Give your people every reason to go home and say good things about your company. Offer them lavish advance notice that their jobs will be eliminated; give them the flexibility they need to search for new jobs while on their current job; pay for training that they need; offer them developmental assignments that will give them essential experience that they can talk about in upcoming interviews. If you have to furlough them only temporarily and you really want them to still be available to you, pay them a reduced salary if they dedicate their free time to community volunteer work. If you have to lay them off completely, remember that you still need to get their work done. So implement new contract-worker programs to keep them onboard as freelancers.

Make sure that coaches and child/family therapists are available to your employees as a resource. Your people may be so thrown by the shock of losing their jobs that they don’t realize how what they say at home will affect the motivation and dreams their children will have about the future. Families in the throes of this stress, shock and even despair shouldn’t be surprised to see school performance suffer and grades plummet during this time. No parent wants to see their children fail, either now in school or later in life. So this is a crucial time in their own children’s development. Help them out with this.

There are all sorts of basic, human decency reasons why employers should support the entire family through a lay-off crisis. But this is business, right? So here’s the business reason to remember that children are watching: One of these days you’re going to want to turn the lights back on again. There’s a whole generation out there who you’re going to count on to throw the switch. Whether they will or won’t tomorrow depends completely on how you treat their parents today.

Do You Know Anyone Who Needs Hope and Encouragement After Being Laid Off?

My new book, Rebound: A Proven Plan for Starting Over After Job Loss, hits the bookstores this week! Get it online by clicking the link (which sends you to Amazon) or visit your local bookstore. Barnes & Noble has been a special friend to Rebound, so I bet you'll be able to find plenty of copies there!

Make Up Your Mind to Change Your Life in 2009: Part 1

If you're a magazine nerd like I am, you might remember when Self magazine was first published. I loved that magazine, especially the feature that always appeared in the back, called Fresh Start. It was always just a one-pager, featuring the story of how one young woman changed her life in a really significant way. Oh how I missed that department when they canceled it. I just loved stories of people who were given the chance to begin again.

Well, here's the deal now. With hundreds of thousands of people being laid off and many more facing the prospect of losing their jobs in upcoming months, we're all being given the chance to begin again. Woo-pee! Right? Yeah. I didn't think so. But, like it or not, change is being handed to us, if not actually being shoved down our respective throats. So we have a choice: we can change our lives intentionally, or have them changed for us. I pick the first choice. Which would you pick?

But, you know as well as I do that no life change can actually stick unless we make the change from the inside. And we have to make that choice happily and hopefully (not in the context of dread and punishment). So, to get the best possible advice for all of us, I went to one of my favorite sources for mental health counseling and positive thinking -- Meredith (the very aptly nicknamed "Merry") Kaplan. (That's her pretty picture at the top of this posting)

(I also interviewed her for my chapter on handling rage in Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss.)

Merry (meredithkaplan@bellsouth.net) is a licensed mental health counselor and an executive and life coach with a national clientele (but she herself is based in Palm Beach Gardens, FL). And she gave me this six-step process to align your thinking around change and to organize the way you manage your life from here on out.

We've broken this interview down into seven parts. Use this process and see what your life is like by 2010! We're thinking that this action process will prove to you through real experience that you do have the power to make your life exactly what you want it to be. So...here's Step One:

Step One: Acknowledge Your Feelings

Merry says, "It's so important to acknowledge your feelings because if you don't you are in denial. And your denial will hinder the process of setting a new course for yourself. Once we are in denial and we are not accepting, we limit ourselves from opportunities for success, opportunities to visualize what it is that we want from our future. Also by acknowledging your feelings, you are able to share them with those near and dear to you. When you are able to verbalize how you feel, you are able to get the support from the people who are in the best position to help you emotionally. They'll be able to understand how you're feeling and respect the journey that you're on. Even if all they can do for you is be a circle of good listeners, that's a very important part of your toolkit for change."

Merry says that even though there might be social pressure to put on a happy face and hide your true feelings, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, you really need to be fully and expressively authentic with both yourself and your closest friends.

"Because of our socialization, it's much easier for women to express their feelings and have their friends and female relatives acknowledge those feelings and be empathetic. It's more difficult for men to express their feelings, especially to other men. When they do have someone in their lives that they really can share those feelings with, it certainly lightens the burden. They can actually reduce the possibility of psychosomatic illness that comes when they internalize toxic feelings. That's when they develop all sorts of stress-related medical problems. So it's extremely beneficial for both men and women to acknowledge their feelings to both themselves and to confidants whom they know and trust."

So Rebound Readers: Here's your assignment for the day...Make a list of all the emotions that are swirling around you right now. Get them down on paper. And then make another list of your closest confidants -- your spouse, your golf buddy, your walking partner, and resolve to set aside some time to share with them those feelings that you might be trying to ignore away, feelings that maybe you think might put you in a bad light. Take that risk.

You know you would want your friends to do the same with you, if they were wrestling with a life change challenge. You would want to be there for them. And, I'm willing to bet, once you show them how to open up, they just might give you that chance themselves!

Do You Know Anyone Who Needs Hope and Encouragement After Being Laid Off?

REBOUND IS OUT NOW!

Hi everyone:

Sorry for the commercial, but I'm so excited to see that Rebound is now available online and in bookstores! I just had to tell you!

For those of you who have been following me over the last couple of years, and then wondered why I disappeared in November, this is the reason why! I was busy writing the book I hope will give a lot of comfort and perspective to people who are facing the prospect of being laid off.

I write about career, legal, financial, family, personal emotional issues. And there are three aspects I'm especially proud of in this book:

1. I interviewed the top experts in their fields to bring the absolute best possible advice together in one volume.

2. Rebound features a collection of first-person stories of people who have been laid off, the lessons they learned along the way, and how they landed happily in their new careers.

3. Each chapter concludes with three quick action items: The best thing you can do; the worst thing you can do; and the first thing you should do.

I hope you and the people you love aren't facing this crisis right now. But who doesn't know someone who is going through a layoff? Here's hoping that Rebound will give them what they need to come out the other side stronger than before!

(By the way, at the moment Amazon is temporarily sold out -- they sold out within an hour of the book being available! But Barnes & Noble's online store has copies still. And Amazon will get a fresh supply any day now!)

Confidential to HR and Other Execs Who Have to Lay People Off: Great Idea!

(Do you know anyone who needs help, advice, inspiration, and hope after being laid off? Please send them to my new blog, Rebound Your Career! It's based on my new book entitled, amazingly enough: Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss, which will be available online and in bookstores everywhere on February 9! Hey! Just around the corner! Yay!)






Check out Preoccupations column in today's NY Times.

The title: "Handing Out the Pink Slips Can Hurt Too," which is eerily close to the title of chapter 12 of my new book, Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss (It's available on Amazon tomorrow!!!!!)

In my chapter I help the readers understand the HR perspective on this terrible time. This way they get at least some comfort in understanding what it's like to be you these days. Not so much fun, is it? I didn't think so.

Embedded in the NY Times article is such a fantastic idea, I wish I'd thought of it. But I'm really glad someone did...and much better that this guy did because the NY Times is better at spreading the word. Here it is:

When you have to lay off really cherished high performing employees, write a recommendation for them on their LinkedIn pages.

Laying people off, especially people you love and you know your company really needs, is excruciating. It's a terrible time for you. So helping them get their new future off on the right foot is essential to both of you!

Don't forget to look for ways to hire them back -- even if it's only on a contract or freelance basis. You still need to get the work done. And they still need the work.

Do you know anyone who has been laid off?

Hi Everyone:

The media has already designated yesterday as "Black Monday." 68,000 jobs were lost in US companies. And the job loss doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon.

You might already know that the reason I was so quiet on this blog during the November/December/early January time frame was that I was busy writing a new book, specifically for people who have been laid off. It's called Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss. And it's coming out Feb 9! Just a couple of weeks away!

If you want to learn more, visit www.reboundyourcareer.com

But I also wanted you to know that I'm carrying on the conversation I started in Rebound with a new blog: www.reboundyourcareer.blogspot.com


Since most of the HR Journeys followers are in the people side of business, I thought that you would want to know that I've created this source of advice, hope, inspiration, even a laugh or two on my other blog! I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you'll pass it on to the people who need it most!

Let's hope this year is over soon and we can return to the business of building dreams.

Best Resolutions for HR in 2009

When I wrote last year’s Best Resolutions article, it was very clear that the HR leaders in the country could see big trouble coming right around the corner. And now that it’s here, the question has become: How does HR handle the people side of business now in such a way that we will emerge from this unprecedented time powerful, proud of how we’ve managed these tough times and with our corporate cultures intact? Employee engagement is difficult enough when times are good. But now that times are bad by every possible measure, this is where we discover the essential ways that HR can continue its leadership role to drive the company toward a future outcome that everyone can be proud of.

With that in mind, here is what HR leaders are recommending to be some of the Best Resolutions for HR in 2009:

Resolution #1: I will tell the truth. David Russo, former Senior Vice President of HR of the famously engaging SAS Institute, and now CEO of Eno River Associates, follows up that resolution with this mandate: “HR will not participate in sugar-coating problems. HR will not allow the organizations to either broadbrush or whitewash situations. HR will face up to management and hold their feet to the fire.

"HR will handle things such as re-engineering, downsizing, right-sizing, diversification, and divestiture with honesty, logical business purpose and compassion. HR will not become a partner to bloodletting. HR will tell the truth: ‘This is what we’re going to do, and this is why we have to do it. This is survival mode and this how we’re going to survive.’ HR will make sure that by telling the truth that the best right people are not sacrificed in an effort to stem the tide.

“If it’s communicating up, horizontally, or down, I’m going to tell the truth,” recommends Russo as a resolution for all HR professionals.

“And don’t get wrapped up in little protective lies that turn into big hate-filled conundrums,” he concludes. “When that happens, the trust would be gone forever.”

Resolution #2: I will hold onto the commitment of employee engagement now more than ever. No company can ever afford to be cavalier about customer service and the customer value proposition. Ever. Especially now. And the thing that we’ve learned about employee engagement over recent years is how inextricably linked the engaged employee is to the quality of the customer service promise. So, even though companies must lay people off and cut resources back to the bare bone, they still have to do it in a way that’s consistent with the established employee value proposition.

Says Loren Nalewanski, Vice President, Lodging HR – Work Environment, Marriott International: “The time is ripe for us to ensure we handle all these difficult decisions with dignity and respect for the individual. We have to be making smart, critical decisions that allow us to emerge beyond ‘09 and into ‘10, and even beyond, very very strong. And we have to have the right mindset about our people as we move into this difficult year and not make knee jerk reactions to what’s happening all around us.”

Resolution #3: I will be even more passionate about working with leaders to become positively clear about their personal values, their moral compass, and what they stand for. Says Courtney Harrison, former Managing Director of HR for the U.S. Olympic Committee and now senior faculty member of the Center for Creative Leadership, “We keep seeing companies that are going bankrupt, laying off masses of people, or under investigation for legal issues. We’re watching people get led away in handcuffs. And every time we watch another one of these scandals, we think, 'Well, at least we learned our lesson.' But it still keeps happening.

“Good HR people know that the solution doesn’t lie in putting together a one day class on ethics or establishing an ethics policy. True leadership, especially in today’s world is about risk taking, courage, and standing up for what you believe is right.

“Leaders need to be absolutely grounded in who they are,” she says. “And this requires a personal investment and discipline to be reflective. It takes time, and potentially money. And their organizations must be willing to invest in the pursuit of more personal exploration.

“In tough economies, the few great companies out there stand out because they’re the ones that forge ahead with leadership and leadership work,” says Harrison. “They don’t say, ‘we’re pulling back on it because we can’t afford it.’ If there’s ever a time to afford it, it’s now when you need it."

Resolution #4: I will take the leadership role in moving the company forward in creative uses of people. Says Lauren Doliva, Managing Partner, Chief Advisor Network, Heidrick & Struggles, “Companies may be trying to reshape themselves in the context of reductions in force, but in about six months to a year, they are going to discover that there is still work to do. But now there are fewer people to do it. Now’s the opportunity to think about how you’re going to reshape the process of getting your work done.”

The Free Agent idea is alive and well. And those free agents may be the very people you laid off a few weeks or months before. They know the workings and culture of your organization, their relationships with your clients, vendors, etc., are still current. And they may be willing to take your calls now – now that they’ve had the chance to process the shock of having been laid off. Whether you choose to go with the people you laid off from the company, or bring in entirely fresh cadres of talent and innovation, open your mind to the notion of bringing in the best people for the projects at hand.

Resolution #5: I will remind myself that this is a marathon and not let the current economic crisis alter our strategy and focus on acquiring and retaining the best talent possible. Julie Weber, Senior Director, People, for Southwest Airliines, says that you may have slowed down new hiring – maybe even shut down that pipe completely – for the time being, but don’t lose sight of the fact that you’ll be hiring again one of these days. And effective recruiting necessitates a long ramp up of identifying and cultivating relationships with your target talent. Don’t wait until you need them to spring into action. You will already be too late.

“From a recruiting perspective, she says, “I might be tempted to just turn off the recruiting machine and focus on something else for a while. But recruiting is a marathon, and over time conditions will change. We have got to keep those recruiting fires burning. We have got to keep ourselves in the game. We have to continue to be out there promoting Southwest as a strong employer. We have to continue to stay on top of where the great candidates are from a strategic sourcing perspective.

“You may not be building for this afternoon, but you’re recruiting for the next two or three years. Take college recruiting, for example. In order to get the best talent that’s out there you have to start finding those students and talking to them early on in their college career. Not when they’re seniors. College recruiting isn’t something that you can just turn on quickly and be successful at it."

Resolution #6: I will help my organization retain its confidence and competence so that we can get through this. Says Marianne Jackson, Senior Vice President of HR, Blue Shield of California, “We have a good number of people in the Gen X and Millennial generations who have never had to lead through such a remarkable economic crisis. It’s HR’s role to help people keep things in perspective and to discover ways to use innovation to sort through challenges that require solutions that are unlike anything they’ve used before.

“When we’re talking about how HR can help an organization come out the other side of a crisis stronger than before, the usual thing to do is to hunker down and cost manage, do lay-offs, slow down hiring, and try to manage through the implications and effects the crisis has on your brand.

“In this case, we have to focus on the confidence of both the organization and its people. This crisis is hitting everyone – often twice in the same household if both wage-earners are laid off. Then as people lose confidence they lose their ability to innovate. So we have to be committed to providing a lot of compassion.”

Resolution #7: I will stay on top of how my people are handling this crisis personally. Senior Vice President of HR for Lowes, Maureen Ausura, agrees with Marianne. “It’s easy for management to take it for granted that when employees show up for work, they leave their personal troubles in the car. And, even though there is an historical crisis going on right now, we expect there to be no change in their performance.

“So our profession this year needs to make sure we know how our employees are feeling and how we can help."

I’ve already heard those dreaded words that I thought we had left behind in the 1970’s: “They should just be grateful to have a job.”

When I raised that issue with Maureen – strictly from a devil’s advocate perspective, of course, she said:

“That attitude is extremely short-sighted. We know that customer service and satisfaction is what distinguishes Lowes. And our employees are not going to be serving our customers if we’re not serving them. Employee engagement principles drive so many positive business results, that to replace them with the point of view that we’ll just replace them if they’re not performing is extremely short-sited.
“If you damage your reputation as a great employer now, it will take a long time to recover. You can’t just all of a sudden say, “Oh! Now we want to be an employer-of-choice again. People have very long memories.”